Awkward situation

[Coconut]

Tate, unfortunately you can't make her do anything. You can only decide what you will do if she doesn't (boundaries).

You can tell her you won't be in an open marriage, and ANY contact with any OM is considered open M by you, and if there is contact you will do X. It's not easy, you have to decide what you will or won't accept in your life, and enforce those boundaries to protect yourself.

As for the phone company, just call them and find out how to get access, don't let her dictate wether or not you have access to your accounts. But, u know she's in an A, so I don't know what you hope to gain by accessing them.