My wife walked out 3

[Coconut]

I went back and read your first post... You've come a long way my friend.

Couple of questions: (you wrote)

( I worked on a lot, and she admitted I had done pretty well and have become not just a good but great Dad. However, the underlying problems are still there obviously. )

What has been / needs to be done to work on these issues?

(She didn't really change, which I think is the main issue although I know I have lots of work to do too. She's unhappy, and says she has been for a while.)

Do you think she's worked on this? Do you need her to before you would take her back?

(Our communication has been horrible, we're quick to anger, know how to go for the jugular in arguments, and care too much about winning than solutions.)

Do you think you've improved on this? What about her? Communication is a common problem, can be worked on in MC if you get there, but does something need to be worked on individually?

(She is a constant worrier, and lives in the moment while I'm always thinking about long term.)

Do you see this changing? Does it need to?

(She obviously needs to find herself, and says our son deserves 2 happy parents. I agree with her fully here. She has also said it's too late to work on things, and I refuse to accept that. I think there are a million ways we can improve and work together to keep this family intact, but I know I'm going to have to go through the hell of letting her find herself.)

Nice foreshadowing, you're still going through that hell, your just stronger now.. Do you think she's found herself, do you think she needs to before accepting her back?

(And I followed the author's advice and wrote down a mantra to say each morning for 3 weeks, something along the lines of "I want to have a great marriage and am learning new skills to do so!")

What skills have you learned? What skills do you still plan on learning?


I'm not really asking for answers, just for you to think about these things. I don't want to mind read, but it seems to me your wife may be nearing rock bottom, at which time she may try and get back with you (maybe not though, not trying to get your hopes up). I just want to point out when /if it happens, it can happen quick, and you should figure out before that happens what you would want/need To let her back before the opportunity presents.

Often those piecing say they worry they let WS back to soon/easy, so I would recommend trying to figure out what would be the right time frame for you to not feel that way if it was to happen.

Remember, don't be afraid to resist their approaches, when/if they truly want you back, they aren't just going to give up because you take your time, just like you didn't give up the first time she said no to you.