Anniversary dates are such a hard one. Like Sotto said (and this is only my opinion) I would not do anything big for you h birthday, if you feel like you would like to acknowledge it in some way then send a card or text but don't expect any response from him, only send it because you want to, that way you will not feel disappointed if he does not acknowledge your gesture.
I sent my h a text but that was only because around his birthday both years he was in contact with me, otherwise I would not have bothered. This year is a bit different but I still wont be doing anything big, just a small gift and card.
You sound very independent, wow french, that's great - are you planning a trip to a french speaking country or learning just because ? I admire you, I was useless at french in school lol.
I find loneliness comes in waves. It took me a long time to be ok with my own company, I am still not great at it, but I accept it as part of learning about who I am. Sounds like you are trying out new things which is great, it takes time to find out what fits, its a new path of discovery you are on.
