Had another meeting with the guardian attorney today. I don't know how to feel about it, I was really upset after leaving. New info and the unknown. I didn't bother going back to work as I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate. W is trying to make me look bad about Father's Day and my communication, criticizing my enthusiasm and how I change subjects. I explained how I have to really work to have a conversation with them, how w was letting them play a video game last time they called, etc. I also told her how s read me a book the night I got w's last email (which I brought to her), how the kids do the same to her, and about d pretending to be asleep so she didn't have to talk to w one night. I really think w is trying to make me look bad in a nice crazy sort of way.
The attorney told me she thinks w will be living with OM soon. Hopefully that spells instability for the attorney, I don't know if I can handle being replaced and w moving kids in if I don't get custody (how on any planet could that be acceptable) and all so quick. It's sickening, my stomach has been in a knot since I left. I reintegrated how this bothered me since OM (who brought tinder dates to company functions) started a r with a married woman living with her h and children and how he obviously doesn't have their best interest in mind. She then brought up how w doesn't believe she is cheating/having an affair since she considers us broken up. I made sure she knew it was happening while she lived here. Wtf, if that doesn't spell instability....
The guardian attorney also asked me why I haven't told anyone about w's A. I told her I didn't want judgement from my family towards w and that I am humiliated. She urged me to tell them or confide in someone about it and that even if we ever did reconcile we'd be living a lie by keeping it hidden. I just don't think it's a good idea. I told her again step mil knows and I talked to my old IC about it. She recommended I start going back to IC as I haven't been since my counselor left. She told me I'm holding too much in and we've all been through a lot in a short period. Idk how to take all that. I think w is making me look unstable to her. I told her if I wouldn't have had those feelings when w was moving away with my kids on Father's Day that something would be wrong with me.
She asked about the kids, s on Father's Day, our communication, and my communication with w. Seems w is making me out to look bad and doing an okay job at it.
She said she would be visiting w next week but she wished the kids would be with her. She wants me to update her next week on how they're doing here and how the transition goes. She also wants to meet with the kids again. I know this is why w has been having them make a bunch of new friends started a camp at their school, etc. not that I don't want them to be social/active but I think w is playing this to benefit herself.
Looking forward to getting the kids back here in a bit and my next 2 weeks. Trying to stay positive.
