Hi Mvg, I'm sorry to read all of that and I can see your pain in your posts. The big thing that I would say is - no-one else is father to your kids - only you are and nothing changes that whatsoever. Divorce doesn't change that, having a new guy on the scene doesn't - it is absolute. And kids just want to spend time with their Dad and have a good R with him.

That's the part you do get to control - how close your R with them is. What you do with them, how you do it, how you are there for them. All of that is the stuff that really matters. The parts you don't get to control are how your XW parents them when they are with her, what the X-in laws say and how OM interacts with them.

I would encourage you to focus on the parts you do get to control and if you can work towards shrugging off some of the best (not easy I know, but possible) that would be best I think. Ultimately OM is 'current boyfriend' - who knows how long he may last - months, years or whatever. However, we only get one Dad...and to them, you are he.

Hope this helps a little and do take care smile x


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus