Hi Coconut, I'm not sure if you have read my whole story but last February was when I had the first confrontation with my W about her work colleague. After a few weeks she was out at a work thing and said she nearly drove to his place. Came home and told me about it and said she was scared of her feelings. I was already mentally exhausted from building a house so you are in a much stronger piece of mind than me. When this came out it completely broke me, I even spent one night in hospital. My W has never taken full responsibility for her actions, always said it was a symptom of other problems. She wanted to keep being friends and wasn't willing to seek counseling for herself etc. Everything was still my fault.
I know how hard the working environment situation can be and I couldn't get past it especially when their contact and conversations with each other starting building after 3-4 months. I had no time to heal and got angry and it broke me completely driving me crazy.
My only thoughts with you is while the letter had some issues, from what I understand she has taken responsibility and is working on herself counseling, yes? I don't know how to advise you, I did ask if my W would leave her job for me and she said no. She then wouldn't give up 1 'friend' for me either, she gave up her family instead. I can only suggest the risk is still there. I don't know if you can use other people as examples in communicating with your W but in my experience it just didn't work. I never got any full no contact but I also hadn't learnt or found any help in dealing with the situation.
