Hi Huddy, yes, I was in your shoes 2 years ago. While we were separated, my MLC W sold her wedding ring (which she promised to d19) for her "tummy tuck" surgery. I agree with you that it is a sign of MLC.
I would not confront her about her lack of judgment. Your W's focus is only on herself right now. Get help for the younger 2 kids where you can. Take a deep breath and ride this one out.
But also do not encourage her about her looks. as roist suggested above, treat her like a neighbor would and I wouldn't even mention the 'tummy tuck' surgery. Good luck getting thru this.
