Waking up this morning on our 10 th anniversary to an empty house is a little difficult. Saw W last night as I dropped a couple of things at her place. She is not confident, certainly from her body language. She wouldn't maintain eye contact, I feel stronger again and was able to just stand straight and look her in the eye. She kept looking down a lot. She talked about the family day at her work tomorrow and how excited she was to take the kids. I did reply that I'm sure they will enjoy it as it was something I had always hoped to get to see but not to be. I was able to say it calmly and didn't effect me. Something definately caught her and she chocked back some emotion.
I also quickly mentioned something about one of the hockey trades a couple of days ago and there was a little interaction with that. Something we used to do a lot of. Then I just said I had to go and headed off.
I have no expectations, in some ways that makes me feel more at ease. I needed this time to heal, to rebuild myself after 2 years of exhaustion mentally, physically and emotionally. It's a shame my W wouldn't read some books, (at least I'm pretty sure she won't) having read the 5LL, reading how W's go to counseling alone to try and help their marriage. My W has not done that in our time, as soon as we started MC, she bailed after 1 session and only wanted to take us apart. For years it's always been me with the problem for her, always been me that needed the counseling. Yes we should have got some before,
