I agree that you should leave these posts on the board.
The way I read this you are putting a lot of stock into things you did wrong and giving your husband no credit at all for being depressed and un-engaged. I do not think he deserves a hall pass. I think you need to drop the rope and let him go, detach, and focus on yourself. Just because your husband stopped drinking does not mean that he is cured of all his problems.
Do you attend AL-ANON?
I think that if you do not it might be a good place to start. DB is a lot like it.
It is counter intuitive and most people dont get it!
