I've never taken medication before for mental issues not have I had therapy. I was a cop for 10 years, only just left but it had a major effect on me, I started drinking and shunning people or social events.
I'm staying in the home at the moment, she wants to do stuff together as a mum and dad for the kids in the time being, we own our house and need to sort out finances before one of us moves.
Our walls are thin and we can hear the neighbours talking, we do shout but it's only shouting and not extremely loud. Never violence.
I do get really angry though, I find my mind races and I get images in my head of betrayal etc. From nowhere. I know it's not normal and it's got to the point I'm getting help.
I'm getting blame now for the breakdown of M, but it has swapped and changed where she took blame and then it was my fault and so on. At the moment she is really angry and I'm the baddest person on the planet.
The social services comment is only related to neighbours hearing arguments, we really look after our kids and never fight in front of them, I understand kids pick up vibes and notice things but, we love them and care for them so much. Nothing gets thrown, just the occasional door slamming My wife wants the kids to have both parents in their lives I think that's why my wife wants us to go on family days out.
My background is pretty harsh as a child, pretty bad to be honest. I've took this breakdown of M very badly as I had a family with my kids and M.
Before 5 weeks ago I had no gut feeling about affairs or cheating, but I had huge insecurities and depression, I let it fester and I've pursued my wife non stop every minute every day and couldn't let it go.
I am working to improve myself and recognise my problems, I just hope I don't push people too far from me and that I can turn things around
