My 2 cents - I'd have a tough time trusting your W on anything she says about her R with OM as long as it's going on. I've heard all sorts of excuses over the last year from "just a friend" to he "begged me to come over".

Gaslighting I believe is the common term for this - saying what you want to hear to make you feel better about the situation.

Be very cautions - I too want to be there for support for my W she is very much in a confused state right now and is treating me like a good friend. We don't talk about he R or the A at all right now as I know that will only stir things up.

Me: 40 W: 45
T: 13, M: 11
1 D: 9

Suspect A 6/15
ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16
EA/PA Discovered 3/16
EA admitted 3/16
W Moved out 4/16
W opens R talk and says A over 1/17