Lost at the moment

[lfm]

I completely understand what you are saying doodler. I have trouble trying to wrap my head around some of it as well, but am trying to look at it as the start of a new friendship as the marriage we had is over. To me it's about being there for her as a friend as needed and trying to establish new levels of communication and see if we can try to rebuild things from there at some point.

The thing that gets easier is that I've got so many details at this point that there is nothing that really suprises me anymore. It's still difficult sometimes, but trying my best to separate my emotions to look at the big picture.

As far as being brazen, I don't think that's necessarily her intent. She still hides plenty of things, and really just starts talking about it when things are going poorly with the OM. I'm the only person she vents too about this as she won't say anything to her best friends or her family, so in some respects, I feel like its a good thing to be able to be there for her in that capacity.

Like I've said before by looking at the big picture I think that by listening to her vent about her relationship with the OM, I can pick up on things that I need to evaluate within myself and that by having the details that I do, that if we do get to the point of reconcilliation that it will hopefully be a faster process because there won't be the same level of anger or need for information becuase I'll have alread worked through that.

I think I've still got a long ways to go on this, and trying to focus on one day at a time.