Wife wants divorce

[sandi2]

Sorry to hear about your problems in your MR and your mental state. Have you ever taken medication for depression, anxiety, etc.? It will take a little while before you might tell any change, but I hope you will stick with it, and seeing your therapist. Have you been to counseling in the past?

She has since told me that she wants to be a family together, and do things with the kids such as go on holidays etc and she has moved her things back in the house. She has still said there is no going back for us.

She has mentioned this ^^^^^ more than once, right? It sounds contradictory. She wants all the advantages of being in a M, but she doesn't want to be your W. Why would a man want to stay with a woman who tells him there is no going back as a couple, but she wants him to continue working and providing a home for her, and she continues to have OM on the sideline. Are you staying in the home right now?

the part about not believing anything she says I'm struggling to interpret. In what kind of context would this be?

The WW will talk in absolutes. "You NEVER" or "You ALWAYS", type of statements. She will rewrite your complete marital history. She can only see one viewpoint......hers! Oh, and she will lie, cheat, deceive, and cover herself. In most cases, it's a lot of b.s. coming out of her mouth. More than likely, she is going to blame everything on you, in order to justify herself. So, you really cannot believe what she says while she is in this frame of mind. And, unfortunately, it doesn't usually change right away.

Won't be able to talk today as on board train. I do want us to be a family and do stuff together but you need to understand why I'm weary at the moment. Your behaviour is erratic. I don't want social services involved as it only takes a call from the neighbours. I would like you to talk to your mom and dad about helping you find somewhere. There is no rush at all! But it will not help you come to to terms with things. I care about you and you are an amazing dad and I want you to stay that why

I want to show you how easily it is to read too much into things, or misinterpret what they say, or even do. When she previously said she wanted to be a family "together", I thought she meant living under the same roof as roommates. However, her text above, it sounds as if she doesn't want you in the house at all. She just wants you to do stuff together like a family.

What does cause some concern in her text, is her mentioning social services getting involved if a neighbor should call. Have the arguments been that loud? Have police ever been sent to your house? Has there been things thrown around? Do you have an anger management issue? If so, then I think it would be best for you to keep your distance from your W, for the time being. Maybe get your parents to intervene on your behalf and pick up & deliver the kids for you, so you won't have to see or talk to her.

Do you own your house or do you rent? Is it in both names?

Have you talked to a lawyer for legal advice, just to be sure of your rights and to protect yourself.

I'm sure all of this is very discouraging for you, however, things can change for the better. The main thing for you to remember is this will take a lot of time. If you have anger problems, in addition to your other issues, you will have your plate full improving and getting back the man you use to be......or become better. As you said, it is not easy living with you. I would not be a good candidate to live under the same roof with someone who had your issues, b/c I just don't have what it takes......and I'm not sure I would want to, really. But when you are in a M and your spouse becomes ill, that's what we are suppose to do, right? So, let me ask you this.......if that was the only reason she would reconsider, would you want her to stay with you? Probably not. So, focus on what you can do for yourself and do everything you can do to become stable and get rid of your demons. Hopefully, your therapist can help you with the insecurity and anger, etc.