Hi Coconut, I think it's a big step her writing you the letter. I think like most of us H's here, we have regularly missed the signs our W's were giving us. I knew this was a problem in my relationship before and had suggested to my W that if she wasn't getting through to me to write me a letter, write things down, then sit me down and let me read it. I've always known I was an action oriented personality and her writing things down would have got through to me so much more. It was something she never tried so while I understand when W's complain about us not being there when needed etc, sometimes we do know our issues and suggest something different.
That's why it's hard for me to take when my W said she has tried everything when I know she never tried the one thing I asked her to try. An email while I was away from the house to read and process before going home would have been so much better for me than hitting me with something as soon as I got home.
Like others have said, take some time, read it through and then I think you will find your response that works for you both. All the best.
