I find it very interesting that you posted to Jo on the 27th, and stated how much it would mean to you if your W wrote a letter. The next day you received it. How you communicate to her is so important. With built up emotions coming at you without warning, the other person sees you operating out of those bad emotions, and they made not hear what you are saying. In other words, they may not be getting the message you want to give.
So, I go back to what I said yesterday. Don't assume your W knows what you feel, what you want, or what "work" you want to see from her. Instead of allowing those bad feeling to fester, approach her calmly and open up to her. Timing is extremely important. IMHO, having a R talk late at night is the worst time, b/c everyone is exhausted and negative emotions tend to take over.
If your W has discovered the board, it could be a good thing......since she is trying to save the MR. Years ago, we had a high school coach on the board. His WAW discovered his posts and it actually served him well. She joined and they were a dynamic pair. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of your W reading what you write, you can try changing your name. Otherwise, I'd say to continue posting and saying what you want.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
How you communicate to her is so important. With built up emotions coming at you without warning, the other person sees you operating out of those bad emotions, and they made not hear what you are saying. In other words, they may not be getting the message you want to give. 
