1000 feet above the runway (ILS2)

[Cadet]

Well it has been over 6 years since I last posted on this thread.
It has been over 7 since BD and I have been divorced for 4 and a half years.
My father passed away 2 and a half years ago and I have been dating for 2 years.

I just completed the three event trifecta with my ex.
Two graduations and a wedding.
I can safely say she is still deep in crisis and I see no signs that anything will ever change.
Her father passed away recently and she sold our house about three years ago and eventually moved to florida to be with him and her mother.
Still no signs of an OM and at this point I can only guess she is
relationship averse.

I guess we are at a point where we tolerate each other.
As I had more conversations with her in the past month than I have had with her
in 7 years.
She really has vanished in the relationship sense.
We only spoke about superficial things although she did say some crazy things
and spoke highly of my relatives.
She apparently misses them but realizes that when you get divorced you dont keep
your exes cousins.
Of course they were all nice to her which is more than I can say about her own relatives who did not want to show up because of some of the antics she and her mother displayed to them in the past couple of years.

I think that overall you can not under estimate the amount of TIME that a crisis can take.

I continue to move forward and am very happy in my new life.
I have lots going on and much to look forward to.

So glad this board helped me through some very difficult times.
And can only say that the GIFT of TIME that is bestowed on each newbie is very real.

Thanks to all that helped me along the way.

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for the loooong overdue update Cadet. Sorry to hear you lost your dad, but everything else sounds pretty positive! Including re-connecting with your ex, even if in a very superficial way. That's better than the frozen shoulder you'd experienced before, and I bet your kids are relieved.

Glad to hear you're happy and continuing to move forward. Thanks for all the help you've extended to all of us on the board. You (and the other moderators) give so much of yourselves. I'm truly grateful!

Thanks for the gift of time

[tadpole1025]

Hi Cadet.

I just wanted to say thanks for the update and a big THANKS for all the help you have given me and so many others.



Tad

[beatrice]

Cadet - a great update. Time and our personal growth are great gifts.

I would say my xh is still in crisis eleven years on - not as mean but certainly not OK.

This board saved my life!

[Sotto]

Cadet, it's great to hear how well you are doing, and a useful message about the potential length of the crisis.

I want to echo others in thanking you for your sterling efforts on the forum, which are very much appreciated.

My very best wishes to you xx

[bttrfly]

echoing the others posters ... ty for everything, Cadet. Your update is a beacon of hope that we can not only survive this devastation, but thrive. xoxoxoxo

[exquisitetobe]

I am surprised!! With all the resources you gave each and everyone of us, I thought you were part of the divorce busting crew.. You have entered the forum the same year as me. I am very happy to see how well you are doing! I do thank the board but I DEFINITELY WANT TO THANK YOU, you, you. All those links you provide everyone kept me sane when doubts haunted me. it is nice to hear from you Cadet !!