Yes, the intent was for me to be present during the heart to heart between my wife and sister. I can almost see it play out in my head...my wife crying but my sister in excruciating pain. The pain would be there any way my sister finds out, but I almost would want my wife to see the pain she is causing with her actions.
My BIL has no idea that I know what's going on.
Yes, by confronting my BIL instead of telling my sister, I would be trying to end the EA without ending her marriage to my BIL...basically tell him he needs to stop all contact with my wife or I tell my sister everything. The other motivation for him if that isn't enough is that if his family finds out, they will ostracise him. He and his family spend enormous time at his parents lake house. My family spends a lot of time there as well. It's an awesome and very special bonding place for the cousins and our kids...and apparently my wife and BIL. His family would not allow my BIL or my wife to visit it anymore if they knew of the EA.
It's very surreal, but I have been to my sisters house since finding out about the EA, and I did not feel anger toward him...just hurt. He has been my favorite relative to hang out with for the last 20 years. It is similar with my wife. I guess I care about them both deeply and am more hurt than angry.
M 17 years 3 kids EA start 2010 ILYBNILWY 1/2014 PA 1/2016 Bomb drop 2/2016 Renig on Bomb drop 4/2016 Living as roommates, EA continues
