Coconut. That's really interesting. What made her start coming out of the fog. What loss did she suffer?
I don't wanna hijack the thread, but my response apples more to lfm's sitch than yours.
In my case, my WW nvr had any intention of leaving me or D, she just found that OM filled a hole I had left. I really don't think any consequence ever crossed her mind, so when I found out about A, kicked her out of MBR immediately and based on my emotions I was either cordial or went dark (not the DB way). After about a week of that, I laid my boundary down (some would call it ultimatum) and I told her I would not be in or part of a 3 person M, and if she didn't go NC with OM (which would require quitting fire academy) I was going to start the separation and divorce process. That got her attention and she started paying attention to me. After about 3 days, I told her that I guess she had made her decision (she hadn't quit) and I was moving out in 1 1/2 weeks, she asked me if it was to D or just for space, I told her D... The next day she was pretty much out of the fog.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
