Chapter 3. Let the detachment begin

[bigybiz]

Sandi2 - I always want to you answer. Your input is invaluable.

MC - The very fact that she wanted to go back to the Dr is a good sign I think. Again, she may have felt pressured by the kids and I - so I'm not sure. She did not like the Dr. telling her that the MR breakdown was her fault too. She wants to blame - that's why she quit MC before. For now, I'm not going to backtrack - I will let it play out. Who knows maybe something at the Dr says will sink in.

I do want her back - but not the selfish, etc person she is now. I also realized that I don't want her back if something goes wrong and she feels like there is no where to go. I do want her back if she is "healed" and willing to show remorse and put our MR and Family 1st.

Addiction/Obsession - Sometimes the W and MR is all I think about. But, then I realize that all the steps I have been making really produced positive results for me. So it does not matter what initially motivated me - its the results that count. I am proud of the results and where I am. No one can take that away from me.

Yes, so much of my life is solving other problems clients, children, etc - often in high pressure situations. So it does not surprise me that you and others may think that the way I'm talking is about fixing her and the MR. Thanks for the heads up. If you are hearing/seeing that - so is she.

Right now, I know I'm a better person, father, etc. I'm proud of my accomplishments and OK with where I'm going without her.

So here is last night's story - I think I back tracked a little what does everyone think.

I arrived home around 8:15pm. She is supposed to stay until 9 when S10 starts his wind down routine. She is mad that she does not get to spend very much time with the kids and is telling everyone that I'm keeping her from them and forced her out of the house.

Well she is on the phone with her cell phone carrier - trying to fix her phone. S10 is upstairs on his ipod playing games, S15 is on his phone - D20 is working on her computer.

I get something to eat - I don't interrupt anyone, say almost nothing. Kid's make fun of my helmet hair.

At 8:40 she finally gives up and starts packing up her stuff to go to the cell phone store to get help. She yells upstairs goodbye to S10.

My guess is she is so upset that she can't keep in touch with her 2000 twitter followers and her other friends that she is willing to give up time with her kids.

Here is where I slipped. I offered her a ride to the store - mistake one and gave her a spare phone we have to use in case she can't get her's working. Mistake two.

Initially I was thinking I was being nice and showing my kids a good example. Now I think I was being a desperate enabler.

OK everyone let me know how I did.