I heard an interview on NPR this weekend with a woman who researches "ambiguous loss." She mentioned divorce as a type of ambiguous loss--someone is not there but also there.
One of her key points is that dealing with ambiguous loss is hard, and it's normal for it to be hard.
I think you need to focus on you, and on trying to accept that you might never understand why this happened. Do you have access to grief counseling?
I would not pursue any contact with your H at this time.
Again, I am so sorry. Hang in there. It will get better. Give yourself time.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
