I saw some one sided messages from a colleague of hers , she told me about them months ago, thought nothing of it as she was honest and open about it.
He flirted with her but standard replies back from w.
But that started something off in my head. I went to see the messages and they were just like she said, but it set off my racing mind and I wouldn't stop trying to prove she was unfaithful.
I have not found evidence of an A, but my behaviour caused her to start lying about things fearing my reaction and big arguments, which in turn fed my paranoia.
Worst lie was saying she was at her mums when she was with a male friend, on surface people might say A straight away, but, she has explained it and I can only blame my behaviour, I don't beleive she has cheated and she has shown me her phone too.
I'm on meds now, seeing a psychologist soon too. I've told her this.
She has said now that the cause of our breakup are bust ups throughout the years. Some pretty major ones too, she is mentioning that it is domestic abuse the way I go on at her and the way I get bad tempered.
Despite her saying this, and that she is scared of me. She still wants to go on holidays together and do things as a family.
I feel that she is getting advice from friends who are rushing to her side and saying I'm a really bad guy etc.
I cannot emphasise enough that I've made the past 5 weeks hell for her, constant accusations, shouting, arguing, packing her bags up etc.
She is adamant that she is not getting back with me
