It's a script. Why two weeks? If she wanted to D, then why not just go out and do it? Ah, that's because she wants to see you in a nervous ball of disaster, pleading and yearning for her.
Go back and read all your homework again. Hold your nerve and start to build confidence. This is not the time to crumble and fall; it's time for KyleR to become a 'man'.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Just got to laugh, she's told me that she's going to file for D but it's won't be for at least a year because she can't afford it.
I probably shouldn't have done it but I told her that I will file then and I'll just take it off the money I'm giving her for the joint loan we took out. This was not received well with her saying that she could not afford to lose that money each month as she's in a dire financial situation even saying "you're in a better financial situation then me". It ended with her saying that we can talk about it when she gets back from her trip.
To be harsh, tough. Typical WAW/WW, it's all about them. So, D'ing you will solve this financial woe somehow? Don't bend to her talks idea - only when you want to talk. Tine to be tough yourself.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi all, been a while since posting thought I would take a few days to unwind and take stock
Nothing really new to report other then my W phoned me last night at about 11pm to ask if I can have my D5 today as she's been sick and can't go to school. Obviously I said yes but made a point of dropping in a comment to show I'm not doing it as a favour to my W and it was because I wanted to see my D.
When I met my W this morning to get my D my W looked like s**t, hair was a mess, no make up and dressed terribly (struck me as odd as she was on her way to work at a private school!). One thing I noticed is my wife couldn't look me in the face when talking to me, I made a point of being happy and confident while trying to make eye contact and she looked everywhere but at me.
Hi Kyle, it's good that you get to spend some extra time with your D. WRT the comment you made about not doing her a favour....I think it's best to step back from comments like that as I don't think they help 'pave the way.'
I would keep it simple - if you can help, help. If you can't, don't and if she is asking you to do something that is a boundary issue for you, let her know that you won't be able to help because you're busy etc.
JMHO of course and hope you had a nice day with your D
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I'll bare that in mind for future reference, thank you?
I'm interested by people's opinions on the fact she looks like she's falling apart? It was definitely odd that she couldn't look me in the face either.
I always think it's best not to spend too much time wondering about what's happening with them and why. Though it sounds as though your W wasn't having the best day. But if she's been ill, that could be it and not much to do with your sitch, but who knows? Since our S, there have been occasions where XH sounded and acted pretty much as though things were falling apart. His R with OW was on and off etc.
However, WRT to your sitch, it doesn't pay to spend time thinking about where she's at. Fact is, given all circumstances, unless she tells you directly that she's made a huge mistake, wants to reconcile and will do whatever it takes to reconcile - I would continue on your own path and not pay too much heed to how she looks, seems etc.
A good attitude to cultivate is one where you can observe something (ie: she looks unkempt) think - 'oh that's interesting' and go about your day without giving it too much headspace....ie: a reasonably detached perspective.
JMHO of course and hope that helps :-)
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I must admit guilt was the first thing I thought of too. It is sad so look at my W and see a shell of the women I use to know, I looked at her face and there was nothing behind her eyes, almost robotic in nature.
She leaves for her trip to Boston on Friday so will be interested to know what version of my W returns. A part of me is hoping that it be just what she needs to help start seeing clearly.
