Hi Rouky, I'm glad you had a useful session with your IC. I think this whole area is really important. I realise now that I wasn't in a great place (in terms of self-belief, self-esteem and groundedness) when I met XH. When the trauma and 'primal rejection" (thanks Raliced ) of BD happens, we get whittled down to a raw core and need to start rebuilding from there.
I do feel that I have grown since two years ago. At that point, my life was more fear driven, with me trying to control outcomes. I relied too much on the good opinion of others and lived with a subtly toxic feeling that I wasn't really enough and that others had some kind of 'secret formula' that I had missed out on. My life was generally 'together' but this stuff is subtle and pervasive I think.
One book that I've found particularly helpful has been Brene Brown's Daring Greatly - with a key message of - right here and right now I am enough (and I always was). I also found Codependent No More helpful and I often now ask myself - what do I need to do to look after myself in this situation? And also - does this work for me?
All of this is a work in progress for me - but I do feel that to grow in these areas is a gift indeed. If I'm able to live a life that is less fear-driven, more authentic, grounded, meaningful - these are gifts indeed whether I'm single or in another R...
Sounds like you are on a good track with this.....xxx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
) of BD happens, we get whittled down to a raw core and need to start rebuilding from there.