Just had some other thoughts, it took the loss of our family unit, the loss of our best friend and partner to 'wake' us up. To explore ourselves, to turn and open our own Pandora's box. I understand more about what Sandi says about losses cracking through the fog, it is how it got through to us.
Like I said before, I don't think we can't experiment but we have to remember not to put any hope on seeing some dramatic effect. If we do, we can have no expectations or it will only hurt us. For me the experiments would be the odd reminder of the friendship we used to have, the connection we used to have but then to pull back again and observe. My W has made it known to friends that she wants to be friends, that she doesn't understand why I'm not. It could be a sign of her feeling that loss or it could still be just trying to have the best of both worlds. That's why I feel it's important for me to keep looking at this from outside the fish bowl.
