hey paclove, like you, i also took some time away from DB forums, you can check my updates over on my thread, but I'm doing really well, given the circumstance. I have not ordered the LRT videos from michele yet, and that's mostly because the last two weeks, I wanted to shift focus from MR stuff, to ME stuff. My last coach call I talked with her about LRT, the LRT letter, and mentioned the videos to her (it was my last call I had paid for at the time.) She said it might be a good idea to order those before scheduling anymore calls, because I've done my job to a T, and the LRT videos do offer some advice that is not mentioned in the book, or by the coaches.
My finances are a little whacky, as I have temporary restraining order on financial assets prior to the D date. But I get paid Friday and I do plan on ordering the training videos over the weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry, I don't have much advice for anything to do with 'kids', as I don't have any, and haven't done much research on the topic. But my gut feeling is that it's a bad idea to out the A to the kids, at least until they are older. It seems to me like it would create un-necessary shame on someone that it already in defensive mode and would cause more friction in general. But like I said, I'm not the expert. If it were me, I would try not to focus on what your W is doing at all, unless it is somehow harmful to your children directly (not emotionally through you).
If you ever do decide to expose the A, it needs to be done with a plan, and very carefully. There is a great book on how to do that, but the mods don't allow that on here I don't think. If you want to do the research, you'll know what I'm talking about. It's an "expose to all" technique, and I think it would work, I wouldn't done it but I've moved on from worrying about 'stopping' my W's actions, or trying to save our M.
I wish I could be of more help, but wanted to swing by and say hi, let you know you're in my thoughts. Keep focusing on you, and try to understand what it is within you that you want for your future. work towards that. I'm sure your coach told you, with every decision you make, does this bring me closer, or further away from my goal? This is sitch dependent, and only you can know the true answer, we are just here to support you no matter what.
