Well now, a BIG development in the last 24 hours. Yesterday I decided to turn up the sexy just to see if I still had what it takes and WH NOTICED majorly. I was looking for a washer/dryer for my new place and he came along. He asked to pay for it and I decided to let him. (I had been keeping boundaries firmly in place and paying my own stuff, I decided this would be a 180 for me) I was so so excited with the bargain I got (4th of July sale mixed with some other discounts)and spontaneously kissed WH. He stood there with a shocked look on his face. The rest of the day I flirted with him and kept things light. This is a big change for me as I had effectively walled him off since the bomb drop in Oct. Last night WH came to me, his hands were shaking and he was even perspiring, he told me he felt consumed with guilt constantly and how it is starting to sink in how deeply he has hurt me. He apologized again and again and asked me what I needed from him. I kept my requests simple; look toward your own marriage and find out how to rebuild it, remember the worth of your wife and children. Today he called and cancelled the interview in the other state and confirmed his interview with the place near my new home. He said he will be coming home to us permanently when his contract is over in September. He was brutally honest saying that OW still had a huge draw for him. He even requested for me to come to his work state with the kids for the next 3 weeks so he would feel "protected" from the temptation to return to her. He admitted he was horribly confused but one thing he did know, that he would be losing the most important person in his life if he lost me. HE felt awful about how much he hurt me and asked repeatedly how he could help me heal.

So...there it is. I am still extremely cautious and continue to remind myself, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. My 180 is ongoing and I continue to work on me. But who knows, maybe we'll be one of the marriage success stories?

M 10yrs T 13yrs
BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW
BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off
Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce
April '17-Letting go
2018 D busted
DD8, DS6, DS3