My wife walked out 2

[RSG]

Seismic activity today, that cooled down a little.

Normal start with Facetime around 7, S doing well but WW had a headache. Around 11 I get a text "I think S needs to go to new school early, I'll send you email." A little later it comes through. She's mapped out all of July. Week 1, as agreed he'd be with my parents. Week 2, she wants him at new camp. Week 3, she wants to take him to her parents. Week 4 new camp.

I agree to Week 4, as it's a perfect time to get him acclimated to the new school, get used to the kids, routine, etc. For S to learn academically and grow socially, routine is an absolute must. Week 2? I think it's unnecessary as it's the last week of her camp and I think she can tough out 5 more days. He's not going to benefit much, as he'll lose the routine due to not going back until week 4. And it'll cost $245. Week 3? Unacceptable (but I'm diplomatic). I say I'll take off Th and F, and watch him those days. She wants to split tuition costs 60/40, I think as school is the most important thing for a preschooler, that should always be 50/50.

Her response? "K. Wow thanks a lot." Me "I thought I was pretty reasonable." "K" "What don't you like?" "I think we can both acknowledge this is over. It's fine, I'll make it work." "You already told me you have no interest in me and don't care to make an effort. "OK, I got it. I'll make it work, I'm working hard for extra money and it's hard with S at work." "We can work together, neither you nor I have the time to discuss this properly right now." It went on a little longer, but that's the gist of it.

I offer her to stop by and discuss. Refused. I call the camp and figure out how much it costs. $245/week. I say we'll split costs on camp weeks (I pay for one she pays for one), and even though I don't like it for S I'll agree because I'm sympathetic to her job. I'm not budging a bit on the week she wants to go to Alabama or tuition costs. She eventually calls, and it boils down to.....cost. She's getting hit over the head with the fact that this kid's freaking expensive plus new realities of living on your own (she's planning on getting an apartment later which will be more expensive, moving out of the room she's renting). I've always handled the family bills, and asked her to contribute what she could. But that was as H/W, being Separated I expect her to contribute to each major cost.

I think I did pretty well. She threatened me with divorce, got ugly, was unreasonable and I didn't respond in anger nor was I unreasonable. I felt I was delivered a list of demands to sign off on, and she got pissed because her H hasn't stood firm in a while. I think she felt the D threat would cause me to cave, and it didn't. She wanted everything, and for me to pay for it all. It boils down to 2 things, one big one small. Small one, we agreed to come to a consensus about major decisions re S. This felt like a list of demands pure and simple. Big one, again wanting me to be a H and take care of finances, let her do mostly what she wants, but not to be a W in any way, shape or form.

I think she was surprised I showed a little backbone. Some of you may say agreeing to let S go to camp is caving, but I'd argue it was a compromise. He can go, but you need to pay. She gets angry whenever I mention $$, but I know it's because she knows she doesn't have it and what's worse is I know she doesn't have it.