Just had an interesting conversation with IC as the last week has been a bit rocky for me. Couldn't or wouldn't want H out of my head? I was surprised when she told me I was amazing, I know she is right as the last 16 months have seen their share of bad things, but I find it hard to believe in me. IC said that it will take a bit longer to get rid of all the negativity about myself that have been fed to me since childhood and reinforced by H! Basically I said that what I'm trying to do (believe I my worth and that I deserve the best), then she corrected by saying that what you are doing! I really needed that! I know I'm amazing but I just need to believe it.
When I met H I became friend with his boyfriends' girlfriends and despite what happened I'm still in touch with them and invited to birthdays, christening etc.., and my IC said that it says a lot about how people see me. She added that usually during a split people tend to side with the person they knew first, but in my case I'm still included. One of my good friend was also a wife from this group and her XH also cheated on her and is about to get married to OW, but unlike me she has been completely sided by the rest of group unlike me. So IC reinforced that those people valued me enough to still include me in their activities if I was to compare my situation with my friend. I have to admit that did boost my confidence as I felt appreciated! IC even commented that if I don't see it/ feel it that I'm getting better, she can se it because of my body language and my facial expression. She reckons that I'm getting more confident. All in all it was a good session, just need to believe what people are telling me about me!
