A horrible emotional affair

[Surfer]

Chrisz,

That sit. [censored]. I know as I had practically the same but we hand no sex for 5 years, lived together after the EA/PA for 2.5 years and she has recently left with the kids. Only a month in I am happy. Why, because she is not here to constantly remind me of her being a total B to make me react - which I never did.

Here is my advice. Do not chase her. She will think you are weak and you will turn weak. If you want to look good - don't do it for her. Yes go to the gym but do it so you look and feel great. The gym is great for burning off your anxiety. Definitely do this. I chased my wife. Don't do it.

Don't hang around her when you think she is texting etc. Stay totally out of the way. Act as if she is talking to her Mum etc. She will get bored of the EA/PA. It's a cheap thrill. It will come to an end.

If she mentions this guy just look right through her as if it doesn't even register. I made the mistake of confronting them and the broadcasting it. It does no good - do not do this. Just work out how to deal with it - keep busy.

Get yourself out and about with and without the kids. Leave her to it. Do fun things.

Mostly don't talk to anyone about this unless they are totally not connected to your W. It will damage trust between you. I made this mistake a lot.

Why did your wife say she was unhappy or not in love - you don't talk to her, take no interest etc? Do the opposite of what she says, but do it genuinely. Don't do it to manipulate.

What are you doing that is your problem? Fix this. Time for a 180 here. You must be consistent forever though.

Hope this helps.