Lost at the moment

[doodler]

I think I've come to the realization "What am I holding on too?" She is definitely not the woman I married, and I don't see her ever wanting to be with me the way I would want her to. I think at this point I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

Ifm,

I'd come to a similar conclusion about my wife. And, it's not just her, it's me as well; I've changed. I'm a lot tougher now and I'd strictly enforce boundaries. I don't believe my wife would be able to transform enough to make the necessary changes that would be required for reconciliation.

On that note, I made a big mistake on Saturday afternoon; I went to Hobby Lobby. That place is crawling with women. I had to explain that I wasn't shoplifting, I was just happy to be there. So please, stay out of Hobby Lobby until things settle-down.

[lfm]

Thanks doodler, great laugh to start off the day. I'll make note of that and stay away from both Hobby Lobby and Michaels as I have both within a couple of miles...

[hawker]

How was the college world series lfm?

[lfm]

Hi hawker,

It was a lot of fun, I think my daughters had a really good time. It was the TCU vs Costal Carolina Game on Friday night. Turned out to be a great night for baseball, packed house, and got to do some fun things outside of the stadium after the game.

Had a pretty good weekend as far as detaching and GAL activities as you guys can read above.

Finding I'm struggling a bit today, maybe it's because my WW is at work today, and the OM works at the same place, maybe I'm just struggling in general today. Not really sure on that one. We'll see how the evening goes.

Hope everyone is having a great Monday!

[hawker]

LFM,

Ya, I watched the game on TV...I live in AZ so I am excited for UA. I hope your evening went ok last night!!!

Hang in there!

[lfm]

Thanks hawker! Congrats on the win for UA last night. We'll see how the game tonight goes.

Last night was okay, went to the house under construction and found some more progress had been completed (countertops and tile work was all complete), which makes that part exciting.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Asked my W about feeling like we need to let the kids know that we are having some struggles and working through that. I think they can see something is different but do not know what exactly. Maybe she is right in not saying anything. I just hate to think of potententially getting to the point where we have to tell them we are getting D as it's my oldest daughters senior year of high school. I feel like giving them some warning may help them mentally prepare a bit rather than it just being a big bomb dropped on them in the middle of the year (not that anything will be decided in the next 12 months). I probably shouldn't have even brought it up last night...

Like many have said in other forum discussions, my W is no longer the person I fell in love with. I don't know if she ever will be again. I'm in it for the long hall, but don't see any hope right now of her ever returning to the person I want to be with. Maybe I'm just venting my frustration with the whole situation. I's only been about 3 months since I found out about the EA/PA, and know there's a long ways to go. Definitely feeling like my progress over the weekend of detaching has swung back the other way. I don't know that I can identify what triggered the backslide, but feeling pretty down today. Hopefully I can focus my energy on work and get through the day okay.

Thanks for reading and for the support!

[lfm]

Hey gang,

In some serious need of advice at the moment. Just got a text from my W:

"Just wanted to say hi. Hope ur day is going well? I know u probably don't want to hear it but I'm having anxiety over what I've done. I've had this before but it's worse today."

I'm really not sure how to respond to this. Any advice from successful DBers out there? I mean I know I need to validate her feelings, but don't know what else I should say if anything...

[Sotto]

Well, I wouldn't call myself a successful DBer....managed to save myself but not my M!

I would keep it short and sweet...along the lines of.

Hi W, yes I'm good thanks. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way & I do hope your day improves. Take care :-)

[lfm]

Thanks Sotto!

[Surfer]

Ifm,

Or you could go really dark and just try:

"Sorry, I'd don't recognise this number, who is this?"......only joking probably gone black not dark there ha ha.

Think Sotto has nailed it there. Then I guess sit back and wait. I bet it happens again within a few days or a week.