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[Stormchaser]

RDS, your attitude towards your wife mirrored mine as well. There were so many times I fantasized about just leaving the M and starting life anew alone or with someone else. How things would be ok. How I actually wished she would have an affair so I could use that to opt out of the M. If she had asked me to go to MC before the affair, I would've laughed in her face and told her to take some Prozac and calm down.

Once I did find out she was having an affair, I did use that against her and wanted to blast it to the entire world. However, after a week, I felt pretty bad. She was remorseful. She wanted to fix us. Had she not wanted to make the marriage work, I'd probably be somewhere in divorce land now. I actually started missing that laugh I found annoying. Dumb stuff she would do I blow off now.

I'm pretty lucky in that I have the remorseful spouse who wants us to work. I say keep trying and keep up with the GAL, but I also think you should do a little pursuing. Let her know you really miss her - I think had I taken the hard road with my wife, she may have not wanted to come back. She wanted to know that I missed her and wanted her back, when I told her so, things got a little easier for us.

Good luck....hopefully things will work better for you...