What should I be Doing (piecing 6)

[Coconut]

What does her doing "work" look like to you?

Good question, I had to think about this for a minute, I only looked at what has happened in the past and not what I would actually want in the future.

Just to give a quick overview of what has happened so far:

I gave up waiting for her to apologize for what she had done and how it effected me, and mentioned it in a discussion, that was when I got my first apology (prior to that she would only say things like I made a mistake, I can't believe I did it, etc.)

I suggested and set up counseling.

I initiate almost all (like 99%) physical contact (and it's not a lot), cuddling, hugs, ML, holding hands walking, back rubs, etc.

I told her I didn't like him on social media, then I had to specifically ask her to unfriend him on different forums as I realized he was on there as a friend.

I have started ALL R talks, and tell her how I'm feeling, she doesn't tell me anything unless I ask. She has never come to me and initiated talk about any feelings or anything else deep.

I always set up any "alone" fun time with us. She has only set up her own nights out with ff friends, and has occasionally invited me with them, but not a single plan with just the two of us.

there are more things, but you get the jist. So what does her putting in the work look like to me: (these are ideas, I would be open to different things as long as I felt like she did them with me/us in mind)

- Plan date nights
- Plan on spending down time without me instead of making plans with others (for awhile at least).
- Initiate R talks with me on occasion, or just let me know how she is feeling/wants/etc.
- Be open with me about contact with OM (but I am not mentioning this because I don't want her subconsciously looking out for him so she can make sure she tells me about it)
- Initiate some physical contact (I know your thinking it may not be her thing, but it always was so I have a hard time believing that changed)
- and anything else that makes me believe I and our M are her priorities

I'm not very good with this R stuff, so not sure if these are realistic or what would really be good to see. thoughts?