Last night I did my own 180. I didn't let myself overthink, I decided to skip the R talk, and I just let myself be in the present. No R talks. No drama. But more so, I just accept that this is where we are. At bedtime things were light and airy, had a few laughs, and ultimately ML. It had been awhile and it was great. I know he still wants to talk and lay out where we are and what are expectations are of one another, but it didn't happen last night and that's ok. Sometimes it's ok to just let it be. And now that we have reconnected, I feel more open to that conversation.

I still get triggers. I still think about OW. The difference is that I am allowing those thoughts, not fighting them off, but more so not letting them consume me and weigh me down. She doesn't deserve that power. The sting is fading. Maybe that is simply because time is passing, but I like to believe it is because I am taking control and not allowing it to affect me so deeply. That's all I feel I really can control. That is all any of us can control really. The more you can DB and learn to love yourself again, the more strength you can gain and harden your shield from the painful thoughts.

-Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela