I agree, after more contemplation I am going to bring up that I feel like I'm doing all the work and that I don't feel that is helping me heal at all. I will let her know that I would like for her to take the lead, that I will work on me as well as follow her lead.
I will not attach time frames or leaving. I think I threw that in to pressure her to do what I want, but if she does it because I pressured her, then that would negate what I want, her to do it on her own.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized