Your complaints are real and valid. It is an important part that is not fully in place. I know you are being careful to avoid triggers in W, but have you tried to get her on board with regards to your needs. Maybe a conversation is feasible or simply initiating. You know best but maybe it is time to take the bull by the horns.
you have a lot of positives.IIt is great you realize that and you focus on what you have as opposed to what you haven't. So many people miss that crucial point and spend their lives chasing what is missing and missing out on what is there.
I wish you all the best
Happy birthday
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together