3 Months of misery

[coffee_]

Zuess,
So a list of conditions that I would expect from her if she wishes to reconcile.

I would need to see extreme remorse for what she did and the pain she has caused me and very soon our S13. I need to know that she gets how serious her bad choices are and have been.

She needs to show me through her actions that she is trustworthy. No more unaccounted for time..eg spending 3 hours working from somewhere else.
I would need full access to her social network, phone, email etc...even her work email.
Random drug test, looking for the white drugs, could care less about the pot.

Only then can I start to consider trusting her again.

Question, I think I know the answer, I would show her the list if she shows some type of interest in reconciliation?

Also, working on the balance of GAL and being a good dad. I am trying to do both but don't want to neglect my S13. GAL just has to include him? I try to communicate to STBXW what I am planning etc. but I get no response, I also get no communication as to what she is doing, until maybe last minute, I stopped asking. So should I just plan my day as-if, and plan my GAL activities.
Some advice says to invite her, I am getting the sense from you Zuess that I shouldn't. Planning a 4th of July weekend, about to send an email to her regarding my plans but wondered if inviting her is appropriate.
I am also working on defining my new relationship with her as a co-parent. So trying to schedule times and dates, or at least making an attempt if she doesn't respond I guess just do what I propose, no response means she doesn't have input, just like any other aspect of life and business right?