Thanks Grl, I have realized as I look at myself that I have always been a 'fixer'. With friends and family and to an extent people that haven't even been friends. I guess I've learnt that I wasn't very good at setting boundaries to protect myself, I would help people out even whenever I could, would alter my plans to do so. Have now learnt more about how when I have gone looking for similar things in return, if I've needed the help with something, it has rarely been there. However, I would just deal with myself and not say anything, learning now how much that has built inside of me as I have pushed those thoughts and feelings down. It has then become ingrained in me over the years to become less trusting and in turn rarely ask for what I need.
I think W is putting across that I'm not friendly is more me not being available or getting what she wants. I think she wants more communication about kids etc since she tells me all the things she does for them, what she buys them etc. I think I'm supposed to be doing the initiating of the communicating more in her eyes and giving her the same level of information. She regularly throws in a little comment about something regarding herself like I'm supposed to follow up with questions. I haven't done so, I have just been civil and kept my contact to facts, logistics etc. I have been more assertive in what I want, not dropped whatever I had planned to fit her ideas. This has also been more of a way of focusing on me and sorting my own issues out first.
I do have the feeling at times of trying to fix this situation but that's why I have found this quote useful. I just want to take time for me to grow and learn about myself at this moment in time.
