I am kind of in the same boat except we are separated. My wife is in a EA and won't stop and work on our marriage. I have found these boards recently and I wish I would have found them alot sooner!
Hang in there and detach!!
W:42 M:48 T:9 yrs M:1yr BD: Feb 2016 EA Confirmed: Feb 2016/PA July 2016 D: Feb 2017