WOW Betsey, thanks. Those are certainly very wise things I should take to heart. I love "As long as you have certain desires about how it ought to be you can't see how it is."
Thanks everyone. I know, it's only a horoscope.
H emailed me at lunch. He is infuriating at times. Gets so very angry when I assume anything. (Can't blame him) What drives me nuts is (1) he does it right back to me, often assuming things about me like my mood or meaning behind my words, and (2) when I ask for clarification, he doesn't give it, so I can only assume the answer...
Anyway, he asked if I had Friday off of work. I don't, but said I would take it off if he wanted me to. He writes back... "You can if you want to. If the weather is good, I wanted to go riding." Now, is this just a guy thing? Or does he not want to commit to saying "yes, I would like you to come."
I'm not one to invite myself, so I wrote back..."I don't know what to do, H. "You can if you want to" doesn't tell me if you want me to or not. So, as I cannot "assume" anything anymore... For now, unless you tell me otherwise, I will not take off Friday. If you make plans and want to invite me, you can do so. I'm tired of trying to guess what you want."
This is maddening... to me at least. He replies, "The only thing I wanted to do on Friday was to go Bike riding. If the weather is bad, I'll just mull around the house with MJ. You are more than welcome to go riding with us or mull around the house. If we end up mulling, maybe you can help us come up with things to do."
Now, I am faced with whether I stay home and do something with him, or not. Perhaps I will take off and go bike riding or something on my own. I told him if the weather is bad, we can fix up his dojo, some new paint, rugs, cleaning, etc. He liked that idea. But, I really don't know if I want to stay home.
Maybe it's all about the power. H doesn't want to say "Yes, I want you around." For obvious reasons, that would put the power back in my lap.
I don't want to say "yes, I want to stay home with you" because that is giving him power. And I feel like he has enough power right now.
Perhaps that's the answer. There has to be give and take in a R, and I may gain something if I give him power. However, I doubt it in this case. Instead, I would give him power and he would continue on the path he is on. I think, if I feel he has too much power, perhaps I should go in to work on Friday, or go do my own thing. That is putting the power back on me and making me the master of my own destiny again. HUH? Did that make sense?
