Hi JMO, I wanted to respond to your question in my thread about NC. I see you've been M a long time. Before I answer that question, I'd like to know more about your M, so permit me to ask several questions, in order to get a clearer view. What are the ages of you and your H?
Can you give us a little more marital history about your MR?
Was there usually good interaction between you as a couple? Was one more talkative than the other? Did the two personalities clash or compatible? Who would you say wore the pants in the M? Who would you say was mostly the giver and who was the taker?
Did your H come from a healthy home environment, or was it dysfunctional? Has he lost a very close family member or friend, lately? Has he suffered financial ruin or some other catastrophe in the past couple of years?
A personal but extremely important question is how was your sex life before he began this behavior?
Have either of you ever been in an inappropriate relationship? Do you suspect your H has another woman, and if he does......is it a deal breaker for you?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
