Yes, she's a good person who made a bad mistake. She really seems ot be trying to rebuild the M. Honestly? Compared to all the other A's here, I don't think she ever wanted to leave you or build a new life, as most other cheating spouses on here wanted and have actually done. That's why I think she is a good person who f*cked up big time. That's why your marriage stands a chance. Of course, if you can't get passed it, that's your personal decision, absolutely. Any kind of an A is a dealbreaker for some.
As for snap chap being deleted, if it bothers you that much, ask her to delete it. If it will actually make you feel better, then ask. Don't ask if it's because its out of principle. You might as well have her delete everything social media. We all know this day in age, we would all be having some horrible withdrawl symptoms, it's how we stay connected. But if you ask her to delete it all, you should do the same.
As far as her job, I have to disagree with GB here. It's her job. Snap chat is s stupid app. She might be angry for the snapchat thing, and yes, a marriage can survive anger.
There is one thing a marriage cannot survive. That is resentment. It will not survive if you resent her forever for the A. Nor will it survive if she resents you for making her give up her job.
As far as sweeping it under the rug. I think it's almost a good sign. I think she actually feels enough guilt she can't discuss it. I think she is scared that speaking up it will ruin reconciliation efforts. But I certainly think you need to discuss it and understand some thing. So my suggestion to you is to agree with W that MC is the time you guys will discuss it for now, not at home, because you do need to deal with it.
This must be very hard. It's where the most work. I say keep your eye on the prize without sacrificing your boundaries. Boundaries because they are truly things you cannot have in your M. Maybe time to define those a little better
