because she was taking the kids out of town to visit my sister and brother in law without me. She reiterated that she is only with me for the sake of the kids and has no desire to rebuild our marriage.
I'm not sure what the answer is but this is not an affair with a random person, this is your sister's husband. Now she is taking the kids to visit YOUR sister (and a man she is having an EA with) without you. I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your sister but through all the crap I've gone thru with my H one of the things that always infuriated me was thinking how H would feel if somebody was treating his daughters or sister the way he was treating me. What would you do if you found out BIL was having an affair and it wasn't your W? Would you tell your sister? How will your sister feel if she finds out and knows that you knew but didn't tell her? BTW, your wife didn't slip up past tense...it is ongoing. Again, I'm not sure what the answer is as far as telling your sister, just some things to think about.
Whatever it is that you are doing doesn't seem to be working. It's comfortable that you are getting along better but it doesn't seem like you're any closer to saving your M. I think what we all tend to forget is that DBing isn't JUST about saving our marriage, it's about saving ourselves. Your wife has made a decision to continue to live together as roommates while she is continuing to have an EA which she probably doesn't consider an affair because she told you the M is over. You need to really start applying things you have learned in DR and figure out what works. Work on yourself and what changes you can make. Figure out what 180s you can do and GAL! Focus on you and your kids.
There are some people on the site who are very good at DBing, I'm not one of them! lol I have managed to stop the D and as far as I know the affairs but our M is far from what I want. How long are you going to be satisfied living like roommates? You have to make some changes in yourself and how you are interacting with your W.
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
