Being there to help v going dark:balance

[Surfer]

Sandi. Thanks.

It is comforting to hear someone validating what I have done to improve things from my side. Thank you. My wife also feels she has tried everything (said everything). She does not see that the only things she has 'done' has been negative - raging, shouting, spending time acting like an unmarried rebelling wife separating being most obvious, etc. Perhaps this is the fog as such. It perhaps makes a WW blind?

We do have a schedule set. Every other weekend and every Weds. for me. It doesn't feel anything like 50/50 (as it is not) but we decided to do that and see how it goes. I believe she will be flexible around that - or that's what she says. I also take them to school every morning. She drops them off so it is easier for her to get to work. I did think about dropping the morning school run (due to cake eating), but in fairness, it would feel like a vexatious move -any though? Also, she would just get a friend to do it and I am mindful that the kids might feel abandoned. They need to come first.

You are quite right I do want her back but I want her to change. However she is so stubborn that she will most likely not. I would be grateful to understand what makes a WW (not sure she is WW or WAW) change their stance. It has to come from inside but, as I say, I really struggle to see her changing.....