Don't know what to do

[stacey9]

Hi everyone

I've not posted in a while but could really use some advice. In a nutshell, H was living with OW in a lovely part of the country, living the perfect life. We had very little contact until a few months ago he asked to speak to me. What then followed caught me completely off guard, he was affectionate, giving me cuddles, kisses etc.

This carried on for the next few months and I was completely overwhelmed by it. Things moved quickly and got very passionate indeed, and I must admit I daydreamed of us getting back together.

During this time he admitted he wasn't happy and was thinking about moving back to our hometown as he missed the kids etc.

Then he moved back but his story started to change - he said he was going to be living on his own but still seeing the OW, as she was completely devastated by the split.

I told him I couldn't carry on with the snatched moments of passion (was this the right thing?), even though I wanted to, I could not be the OW, and if he wanted to talk about things in the future then I would be here to listen. Friends have told me I should have carried on with the kisses etc as it would remind him what he was missing, and I am still legally his wife, but I didn't want to make everything too easy for him.

Now I see him frequently and things are friendly and nice, but I know him and OW are back together again although she has not moved in. He has not shown me any affection since he has been back.

I feel such a fool for thinking we could work things out - everything just felt wonderful and I know he felt the same.

Now I'm back to feeling sick, stomach churning, can't eat etc, just like I was at the start.

Should I just carry on being friendly to him? Do you think he was just testing the waters in case things didn't work out with OW, then he had me as plan B?

I am an idiot.