SH - that's what an IC will help you with... a good counselor will guide you to the important questions. It's interesting what you share about how you handle difficult emotions - it sounds like how I perceive H.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17