Being there to help v going dark:balance

[liono]

I'm having really similar feelings to you right now, surfer. Feel like things are falling apart. Hoping they're more "falling into place" but I think you can't know that until it's all done. Just have to do what works and hang on for the ride.

My D8 heard me (after D8 said I sounded cross – I was; and taking my balls back)

IMHO, I think that was a great thing to do. The thing I think about with my D4 + D6 is they will find someone like me. So do I want them to find a "nice guy" who they can trample all over and lose respect for? Or someone with balls? Of course it's a balance because you don't want a monster either but you get it...

it is very confusing now – listen or not, when and what to etc.

I don't really have any good "advice" just thoughts based on what I've seen myself. I think it can be very powerful to be able to listen to W's concerns, complaints, whatever and demonstrate your strength by simply validating. And not trying to problem-solve or defend or anything.

At the same time, you obviously shouldn't wait around like a puppy just to get the chance to demonstrate how awesome you are. My advice would be treat it as if a casual acquaintance wanted to talk. Am I free right now and am I in the mood to listen? Sure great, I'll listen. Or am I busy? Am I tired and not in the mood? Would I rather go hang out with the kids? Then that's what I'm going to do, because I have my own life.