My honest opinion? It sounds like you want to put you head in the sand and pretend things arent happening. I think it's OK to say youd like some more time. But I think it would have been better served to simply say "I'd like some time to consider this. I will discuss with my lawyer and decide what makes the most sense for me."
I feel like just saying "This is too fast. I need some time to think." makes it sound like you are in denial or are weak. I think it's good to make it clear that you dont want to reply immediately because you want to consider things but also you need to discuss with your lawyer.
For example: That is a lot to process and I'd like to think about it for a while before responding. This is honestly going so fast and I want to think about things before responding what is the benefit of the part in blue? What does saying "it's so fast" really mean to her? It's saying that you think with enough time, you can change her mind. That you arent ready to do anything "irreversible" because you dont believe this will happen. It feels fairly invalidating to me. Then, after the blue text, those words are just repeating what you already said.
These are such huge life changes I need to think I can't believe ur trying to discuss this over txt I don't mean to sound accusatory either I understand u have very valid perspective on things As for this message, I dont know what you were trying to say. You didnt really reply to any of her comments/questions. If you were uncomfortable with texting, maybe say "let's discuss by phone" or "can we meet XXX to talk about this more?" It reads like you dont like what she's saying and so you are lashing out. It reads chaotically. As for the blue part, that sounds like a textbook line, but Im not really sure how it applies given the context of the conversation and what you had already typed in this message.
Just my thoughts. To me, it reads like an ostrich burying his head. How can you take charge of your own actions through this?
You are still able to talk to your wife which is awesome. If I were you I would ask her to legally separate instead of getting divorced, that's much better for the kids. Believe it or not, you are still together with your wife. The real break up is when she doesn't return your texts.
Thanks darknes. I really should've gotten some comments on this before even responding. Yes my DB coach asked me to look up 'the law of surrender', as it would help me to detach. I guess I'm still in the detachment process.
Quote:
I'd like some time to consider this. I will discuss with my lawyer and decide what makes the most sense for me.
this would have been better than how I responded, you're right. God I was in such a good mood the past few days, this convo just threw me back on the roller coaster again!
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
I am getting hopeless here. I doubt that there is anything that I could do to be with an American woman forever. It's impossible to please them, and at some point they will run away and give up. I am glad that she is a good mother and that she makes good money at least. I am very happy as a single man , honestly.
