The Unpleasantness

[qt4x11]

Yesterday I got this doozy of a text msg conversation. A little background. I started withdrawing a lot of money from our shared business account for rent while I’m living outside the house, and lawyers fees. I think the impetus for this txt msg convo is that she is starting to realize how the D will affect her financially, and she is trying to railroad me into selling the house now to split the equity 50/50. My lawyer has advised me that the D negotiations can go on for more than a year - and not to make any major financial decisions at this time. I will be following my Ls advice and I will not discuss any major financial stuff like this with my W.



W: I wanted to work out our visitation schedule after cancun and figure out the housing situation- id like to find a less expensive place and get the kids settled before school starts. I would like to list the house and split the equity. I was going to say you can stay there until it sells or after i find a place.

Me: That is a lot to process and I'd like to think about it for a while before responding. This is honestly going so fast and I want to think about things before responding

W: I totally understand, but the south loop is super expensive and i dont see how we can maintain two households there. Id like to have a plan well before the kids are in school so theyll have an easier transition and also think the house will sell for more in the summer. This would alleviate a lot of financial stress. I would be fine with you staying there, too.
It is fast, but i want to be a ble to do whats best for them, and it is too much for me to afford.

Me: These are such huge life changes
I need to think I can't believe ur trying to discuss this over txt
I don't mean to sound accusatory either
I understand u have very valid perspective on things

W: Yes, but i do not want to have to move them during the school year or sell in the winter- i wish youd talk to your lawyer about this. I want to do whats best for them.

Me: I’m sorry I can't talk about this now especially over freaking text message. I know you are trying to do the right thing for hr kids and u have very valid reasons for everything you are doing right now
I also appreciate you are trying to be fair w me too.

W: I am. I know it [censored]. Lets make it as reasonable as possible.