Now we have an opportunity to accept infidelity as a part of M, or do the right thing, regardless if we feel differently. Taking the right action trumps doing what you feel is right.
You ask if I accept infidelity.
The answer is no. Im not willing to live in a marriage where my partner is regularly unfaithful. But I do believe that once kids are involved, things change. My ex is going to be in my life forever in some capacity, because of our children. If my ex and I couldnt be in the same room together, then how can we continue to be effective parents for our children? Our children will have to live their lives choosing sides for everything.
So, no, I would set down my boundaries. I would not live in an open marriage. That doesnt mean that I would turn to divorce as the answer though. Divorce itself doesnt really mean anything. I was separated for 6 months before I was divorced. My life didnt change one bit the day the divorce was granted. The only thing that changed was that I reported that I was filing my taxes as a "Single".
You talk about taking the correct action regardless of your feelings. That is 100% correct. You set a goal, and you do what you can to meet that goal. If divorce helps you to achieve that goal, then so be it. I just have a hard time seeing how thats possible. You talk about a lack of respect, but I dont see how these actions work to gain that back.
By the way, this:
Originally Posted By: DDJ
I realised that that anxiety that keeps one awake at night is because your body, your soul is telling you that something is wrong. The minute I gave up on my M and focused on healing myself, it slowly stopped and has now gone away entirely.
sounds like you are
Originally Posted By: DDJ
doing what you feel is right
Im not trying to be argumentative. I accept that you will make your own choices. Im just hoping that when you look back 5 years from now, or when your son asks you in 10 years why you D'ed his mom, that you will be able to honestly look back and say you did everything that you could, but in the end, it was the right choice.
