First Buds

[Ggrass]

Thanks V. Found the page.

I am pissed tonight. In the British way and in the American way. I think I know what it feels like to be a man who holds things in.

I feel that kind of rage.

I think I handled myself beautifully handsomely. I didn't say everything I wish I had said. I held my tongue. And it makes me want to kill someone with my bare hands. I never really understood this feeling of rage before, but I guess that is what men feel when they just listen without speaking. It is unhealthy. I went for a run to wear it off. Didn't quite work. I need to talk to someone, not text or email or post, but to actually speak it.

I regret not saying what I wish I said. I am sure it is better in the long term that i didn't, but in the short term I am absolutely sure that holding it in and feeling this rage took a year off my life. I need some vocal spew. Karaoke might help. I hate that friends only want to text. I need to talk, to feel the words in my brain come up through my throat. I hate being silent!

That rage was why I ended up here, xh2 was wanting me to pull the pin. He did all those awful things because he wanted me to be very angry. In short he wanted me to leave as he wanted to remain the "nice guy " in his eyes just pretend the cheating wasn't there the hitting the child.

I've now got mil problems, she's turning up just to see what she can learn I'm sure and to be in my face. I'm feeling bloody angry again. Did I wish I had give her a Serve you bet.
Did I no, because their story is gg is an angry nasty pasty who was totally in the wrong.

I am not going to play out their story. No way.